Cheeze Pizza?!

Of course it's fucking cheeze Pizza. is there a slice WITHOUT cheeze?

One of the more minute of the multitude of little "upgrades" that kills me about the evolution of NYC is that suddenly i can't ask for a slice anymore. the guy behind the counter says, "you mean a cheese pizza?". Geeezzus. where am i? i look around and everybody is asking for cheese pizza. i get it. there's nobody around to pass on ye olde ways, because i guess when the rest of the country says it that way and there needs to be a sort of counter force to maintain local culture. nobody in the pizza place knows it's actually a SLICE. has been for years.

this is how it works, my oddly surly yet come lately neighbor. a slice is a plain slice. if you want something with it, you say "a slice with {X=topping or many toppings separated by commas}".

if you're in NYC and you're hearing me on this then you were here before 99% of the people standing and or walking by you at this very moment. A city really needs to be more, umm, self aware and capable of having long term memory.

AAARGH. and you know what? i want at least a third of an inch of cream cheese on that bagel. not some wispy hint. i don't know if the motivation for being so skimpy is to save 20 cents for that boss of yours. the guy who pays you bupkiss so he can pay his bloated rent that the original guy who made his pizza with whole wheat back in the 70's stopped being able to afford decades ago. or if it's that you're worried about my figure. if it's my figure, then first of all thank you. second of all, rest assured, i would have ordered an egg white pita sandwich with a leaf of lettuce like that Fruzen Gladje Fluffer-nutter from Connecticut in front of me.

apparently i am Native Police Patrol, and my old grumpy ass in not happy with the way these whipper-snappers are rolling.

(this brand of xenophobia is not the usual brand of hatred, i would be more then happy if the invasion were ethnic or immigrant. please, that would be awesome. but its not. the newcomers i hate are wearing J. Crew and Banana Republic and they're not bringing culture to this melting pot, they're sucking it out through a starbuck's straw.)

ugh. my kingdom for a crime wave.