Life always has a soundtrack

I love my ipod! before that i loved my CD walkman. and before that, I loved my walkman. I LOVE music, so much that I have to admit that I am listening to music most of my day. I miss meetings at work because when they are announced, i am lost somewhere in my music, animating to the beat. I daydream to it all the time and spend hours in my own world. I can identify with movies a lot when there's music playing. It's probably because a lot of my experiences are set to music in the same way.

Since I have a pattern of finding new music and then listening to it a lot until I start getting sick of it, the songs get ingrained into a set of memories. usually the memories of a time period that is about a month or two. Exactly how long it takes to get tired of hearing the song too much. That has the effect of essentially cataloging my life in terms of music, as if it is a library cataloging of life, by tunes. Often the songs have nothing to do with the memories in terms of theme, just in terms of coincidentally happening at the time of liking the song. so if i hear something like Bruce Sprinsteen's "Born in the USA" i don't get flooded with the memories of actually being born here, i get memories of living in Ireland and riding in my mom's rental car. it was 1985 and that song was on the radio all the time back then.

Hearing any old Fleetwood Mac or Beatles song can always transport me to the summer days of childhood. when I would lie on our Shag rug, in the Vermont sun, while my mom cooked yummy food from her garden and my dad grilled a perfect steak out on the porch.

My sister posted this gem. Just hearing that voice sends me spinning back in time. Stevie Nicks...I LOVE YOU.

Just imagine puffing on a spliff and macking out in THAT dressing room, that day.

If i hear an old Run DMC song i get the butterflies in my stomach as if it is just about to be my turn to perform in my old break dance troop.

It's the same way with distinct smells. hearing the song triggers the memory whether i want it too or not. mostly it's a pleasant thankfully, as most of my memories are pleasant. Sometimes i wonder if i would be able to get these memories so completely and clearly if it weren't for the sudden re-emergence of a certain tune. if i try to recall a memory without any song as impetus, the memory lacks the clarity and attached emotions and sensory experiences of the memory. it's usually just "paraphrased" rather then, when a song pops on, i can suddenly remember the very mind state of the time of the memory. i can remember how i felt, and what i thought about while listening to that music. it can often be so strong and surprising that i catch my breath.

I would love music even if it didn't have this incredibly personal ability to remind me of times long past because music stands alone and appeals to me even the first time i hear it, without any past experiences to get involved. but the fact that it does do this to me, that i can travel through my life with a well thought out mix, just adds to its magic and too its power over me.

I have always had issues with my ears, and i was once told by a well meaning Doctor that i could eventually lose my hearing. i had only partial hearing as a small child so it wouldn't be anything new to me. But the part of this possiblity that always got to me the most, as i grew up, was the loss of music. I knew that i could learn sign language in a worse case scenario, but to lose music would be something that i have yet to come to terms with. that's a loss that i can't even imagine.