Basic kicks ass in Fleuvog Clogs

I have an old friend, Basic, who is a very interesting guy. He has always been on the cutting edge of two things, cool clothes and fighting techniques. Back in high school his resourceful mom had devised clothes out of his old bed sheets. bed sheets that were very colorful and had things like Mighty Mouse and the Jetsons on them. it was the coolest thing ever. to add to his interesting image, he was also always in the middle of any fight we had, like a jade tiger with his Jetson's clothes on or some other great outfit.

I've seen him crack ribs for the slightest infraction, like failing to bring beer to his party. he loves martial arts so we can assume he knows how to crack ribs in like, twenty ways.

there are lots of tails about his fighting skills. most of them involving me somehow. the only time i have ever managed to get away with hitting him is once, in a fight in college we ended up in a small vestibule with like 10 guys in a brawl. the space was so tight, and the lighting so bad (and frankly, i was WASTED) that i hauled off and cold cocked him in the head before realizing it was my bro Basic.

but the best memory i have, is more like an image, or a shining moment in time. I was at one of my favorite bars in Madison Wisconsin. i was in the front, by a big window looking out onto a snow covered mid-western street. there were deep snow banks on either side of the sidewalk , which had the effect of limiting the walkable space to about a foot wide. i remember wondering where Basic was, knowing that he had said he would be there by the time i got there. but he wasn't anywhere in the bar.

at that precise moment i saw two country looking guys running top speed down the street. they had big shit kicking boots on so they were pretty sturdy on their legs. they also looked panicked. like they were being chased. one second later, i see Basic. he was running like a streak after them. what stood out was the fact that he was wearing one of his awesome outfits. this outfit consisted of a silky red shirt, very silky shiny pants that were kind of loose and blowing in the cold breeze.

the other detail that my eyes caught in that brief moment was that he was wearing his Wooden John Fleuvog clogs. these were shoes of the awesomest coolness. shoes that nobody but him dared to wear, especially when they were running top speed through snow banks. Wood clogs dont exactly have traction, and they don't really conform to the terrain very well. so sure enough, physics caught up with Basic.

his left clog refused to hold up its end on one step and started a long one legged ski slide. this almost elegant loss of control, when coupled with his shiny outfit made him look, for a brief moment, much like a figure skater about to win the gold medal. his hands were outstreched like a birds and it seemed like he was about to do a triple lindy. instead, to my chagrin, he veered to the left and ended up disappearing suddenly into a snow bank with a white explosion. it looked something like this:


i ran outside to unbury him. i still laugh when i picture what that looked like. i can't remember what he was chasing the two guys for. probably because they tried to make a funny about his clogs.