RANT: it's the little things

when you share space, and do the same things in that space daily, you start to notice that it's the little things that matter. it makes sense because all big things are made up of smaller things. like a commute is made up of many little commutes. like merging onto to a freeway, or getting off at an exit. that's why i become a detail minded person when it comes to "sharing". details that come up everyday that get dealt with each and every day. these things become important as one realizes that a minute act, is a rather large percentage of one's entire existence in the long run.

that's why i can't believe some of the shit people pull around me. like they are alone on the planet and all the moving objects that look and sound like them, are not in fact humans like they are. it's astounding how little minded people generally are. the fact that i work in a place where there are people who spray the toilet seat with pee in a unisex bathroom is ABSURD. what's so fucking hard about lifting the seat?! even if the culprit is, in fact, a female, why can't a female lift the seat and hover over the toilet like the mothership in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"? it's the little things.

why, in a place that is supposed to be so civilized and progressive, are their individuals who are lacking the basic ingredients to proclaim humanity? are they in such a rush to get back to work that aiming for a two foot bowl is just too time consuming for them? and then is wiping up their own brand of cellular waste a job for the next employee A.K.A. yours truly? it was a foul deed just to spray the seat, BUT TO NOT CLEAN IT UP?! wow. dudes, and dudettes, i am close to speechless. close. now, anytime a normal "person" goes to the bathroom they have to deal with the mess of an animal. it's like being a human locked up in a zoo. only i have seen animals do it better.


It's really simple to live in such a way that you are always aware of shared space. like is it "sharing" to drive in the right lane when there is space in the middle and left lanes and you are hurdling towards an on-ramp where people are trying to merge in?! No, that's being a dickhead and it's actually dangerous. is it that hard to get out of the left lane when you aren't going faster then the people in the middle lane? no, you're just the new sheriff in town and it's up to Officer Cock-Luster to make sure nobody gets anywhere before you do. what are people thinking about when they drive for miles at the exact same speed as the people next to them? are they flying one of those formations we saw in "Top Gun"? are the persians invading Sparta and they need to hold the line and form a freaking Phalanx?! the assumption here must be that there's NO reason that anybody might have to want to go a different pace. baa-aa-aa. i'm surrounded by sheep and their making me late. it's the little things.

little things like the people on the train who don't immediately move in when there's space and like a hundred people are trying to get on. or the Freakin' Foolios who have to hold their doorway position for fear of getting too far from being the first person out at their stop? get the fuck out of the doorway you fucktard!

little things like the "person" who just had to fart out some level 27 evil fire death stench on a moving train?! how long was your ride you stank ass cockroach?! too long to spare the rest of us from knowing what it would be like to stick our heads up your ass? anybody ever notice how fucking frequently this happens? what are people eating, taco bell breakfasts?


i am a relatively gassy person, you can ask my poor girlfriend about my sphincter prowess. i am like the shogun master of bass tone blasts and fog-of-death clouds. but i hold my functions at bay when in a confined public space for less then an hour (i make exceptions for close friends and loved ones on road trips, they can taste the wrath of my digestive tract at any given time...but that's really just love). it's the little things.

another thing that is small, yet ends up being bigger then you would think, is basic work place civility. basic assumptions that multiple persons are sharing the same space and are actually a TEAM. like at my job, there is a parking garage since the place is located in a somewhat suburban setting, people have to drive. so there's a garage for all the cars. all the cars that use the garage are people who work in the same building. that, ironically, share the same restrooms. well, whenever i get to the garage, there are two toll booths. one for regulars who have an electronic device that the toll recognizes, and another for guests that has a responder thingy PLUS a place to get a ticket.

you would thinkg that in this situation, one that takes barely a second to navigate. that since there are mostly "people" who are all going to the same place, and being aware of the fact that they probably know and like each other, the rat race should get put aside for one shining second and you could assume that people will line up behind you. instead of going into the other booth to try to get an advantage or not to have to wait a half a second. and then having a little dangerous race to see who can get the toll up first and back into position on the other side. like the rat race never stops, even in the most unlikely of places. i chose to be an animator because i assumed i would NOT end up around people like that. if i wanted to fight over every god-damn thing during the day i would have been a corporate lawyer or a stock broker. at least they are honest about being devious assholes. but then again, my building has a law firm or two in it, so these could actually be lawyers that pull this ninja level ass-face maneuver.

let's really examine the situation closely. i understand in the normal case of rush hour traffic that its every rat for him/herself. that's the only way to get thousands of rats to work on time is if each does it's part to try to fuck the others then the going gets really slow. as a long term New Yorker, that fundamental assumption isn't news to me. but what i am talking about is, TWO individuals that work close together. the only individual that the person behind me stands to pass from going into the guest booth is ME.

and, of course, then there's always the situation when its a draw and the tolls open at the same time, like this morning. then suddenly i have to slam on the breaks because some pathetically small person NEEDED to beat me by a fraction of a second. Awesome, now he can get to the one hundred or more open parking spots inside first! jerk-face killah.

we almost collide when merging simultaneously into the one lane for parking for NO GOOD REASON. it leaves me speechless. and at this garage, it happens EVERY TIME SOMEBODY IS BEHIND ME. every time. it's the little things.

RANT, over.