When stupidity nearly results in an explosion with political consequences

I use a Weber Gas grill in the city because it is way less of a mess and with some volcanic rocks placed over the flame you can get a real natural grilled flavor. the only problem with using a gas grill is that you have to replace the tanks when you use up all the propane in them. there's only one place in Manhattan where you can take your empty tank and replace it with a full one. it's McKinney Welding Supply Company on 52nd and 11th Avenue. It's like a hole in the wall dirty and cheap operation where you can grab a new tank from the yard in under a minute. it's usually very easy for me except it has sporadic Saturday hours.

So one spring day in 2002 i decided i was going to have a BBQ and i realized that i needed to re-up my gas supply. i didn't want to risk trying it on Saturday just in case it was closed. so i had the stupid stupid idea to do it on my way to work on Friday. at that point in my life i was driving my motorcycle to an animation house right near the U.N. on 45th and the east side. so i thought, hey, why not swoop down on my bike and pick it up and then just take it home after work? seemed like a good idea at the time. why i thought that combining propane gas and a motorcycle was okay, i will never quite understand. my mind remains a mystery to me.

I had a big ruck sack back pack that fit the empty tank perfectly and i hoped on the ride and drove down to the gas spot. everything went according to plan, it took me no less then 15 minutes to make the stop and get the full tank. it was a lot heavier when it was full, and i struggled to mount up a bit, but once the weight of the tank was resting on my passenger seat behind me it seemed good to go. i crossed the park and was riding up the street that passes in front of the U.N. building. everything was fine, except all of a sudden, right in front of me, was a HUGE pothole. I mean like a hole to china huge. like Saddam could have hidden in it. I was heavily weighted and taken by surprise so i didn't have time to swerve to avoid it.

my front tire dove down into it and then was launched at about 30 mph into the air. the violence of the quick down and up lurch actually made me lose my grip on my handles. my body and the tank was, for a brief moment, suspended about a foot above the bike and my hands were flailing. it must have looked like one of those freestyle jumps that the motocross guys do when they lat go of the bike in the middle of a 40 foot leap. only i was not graceful and i was far from professional.

with my heart in my throat and my stomach where my heart was supposed to be, i managed to grab back the handles and prevent the bike from swerving off course and sending me flying. the back did actually swerve a bit and i nearly lost it. it was a VERY close call.

once i recovered and my life stopped flashing in front of my eyes i realized what could have happened had i not managed to grab the handles back in the nick of time. i could have exploded. like big huge fireball explosion. and that explosion would have been out in front of the U.N.

besides the realization that i could have died in a fireball very easily, i also played the whole circumstance out in my head. i could only assume that people would have taken me for some kind of psycho with a political agenda. like maybe a mad motorcycle bomber from the upper west side. they would have searched my house for anti-U.N. material or a connection to some underground political group. its quite possible that i would have gone down in history as america's first jewish animator terrorist. when really, i just wanted to grill up some yummy sea bass and corn on the cob. it was perhaps one of the dumbest commutes i ever took in my life.