Ninjas were no match for Rudy Jordan

The other day I went to a party for my old elementary school dean, Rudy Jordan. He was retiring after 23 years of dealing with the wildly erratic children of Bank Street School on 112th street and Broadway. that's where i met him, or i should say, that's where i went up against him...and lost.

he was a fantastic dean, warm and nice with the kids but sharp as a tack and always ready to drop the hammer of justice over our heads. he had this look when he was displeased. just imagining the beaming eyes and furrowed brow still fills me with dread, or i should say with respect.
in honor of his retirement i just had to tell the tale about how he managed to catch three ninjas in the woods of upstate NY , one night in 1984. i was 11 and we were on a weekend getaway up at the Hudson Guild. its an educational center in the Hudson valley that is meant to teach kids about nature, and about themselves. for us kids, it was always a great time as we got 3 class sleep overs in a row and we were in these large dorm rooms where we could basically go crazy and have a blast.
three friends of mine and i, Calton , Zack, and Waverly, had just convinced our parents to buy us full Ninja outfits, complete with mask and shoes. we were obsessed with Ninjas at the time, running home to rent and watch American Ninja 1-6 after school.

we also snuck down to China town and bought throwing stars down some dark alley from a guy who looked like he ate them for breakfast. we would run through central park, in full-on ninja attire and throw the stars at trees. they were real stars, so the idea that we might get one stuck in ourselves OR get arrested never even occurred to us. we were smart enough to never get caught though, so that worked out.
so here we were, 4 practiced ninjas with full attire, up in the woods somewhere. we got the brilliant idea to done our outfits when we got into bed, wait about an hour until it seemed like Rudy was asleep, and then sneak out the back door of our dorm. the planned mission was to work our way up the hill in back, and get ourselves positioned outside of the girl's dorm so we could spy on them through their windows. Rudy was sleeping in an adjoining room with a big glass window to see into our area so we watched him closely as he lay down after lights went out. once he flattened out in bed we figured he couldn't see us because he was too low to see over the wall below the window. little did we know, that in his wisdom, and his familiarity with our particular group, that he had rigged a small mirror above him to angle in and view our cots!
so, we waited. and when the time seemed right we pulled back our covers, put on our face masks, and filed out the back door quietly one by one. we had our split toe ninja booties already on and laced, so it was a quick and quiet escape. my guess is Rudy saw us immediately but thought we were so amusing that he didn't want to spoil the fun by busting us before we got out. my other guess was that while we did zigzagging ninja-like maneuvers through the shadows, that he must have been just a few shadows behind us, laughing to himself.

we did have maneuvers though, like the movies, we stuck to the shadows, tip toeing and ducking around. the lead guy, Waverly kept on putting his hand up and we would freeze and get alert and low to the ground. any sound could be the enemy. most of the sounds turned out to be creaking trees in the breeze, or birds and crickets rustling about in the dark. but we had to be ninjas about it and give each sound the full ninja treatment.

then we saw it. mecca. or i should say the "temple" shaolin. the girls dorm, their lights weren't out yet for some reason. they were much better behaved so my guess is that Elaine, the girls dean was much more lenient on them. we grumbled about that fact for a second before going back into ninja mode and making our final assault on the large structure. the possibility of seeing all the girls in our grade in their undies was getting closer and closer, so we got lower and lower to the ground. our progress got painfully slow, as we didn't want to make a sound by stepping on some dead twigs or causing rocks to get loose and roll down the hill.

i would say we were about 20 feet from the furthest over window when all of a sudden a bright light landed on all three of us and we heard Rudy's voice break through the evening quiet. "Hey what the hell are you guys doing?!"

well, we got so scared that our abilities to rationalize the situation went out the window. we were also completely robed in black, from head to toe, with our faces covered, so there was also the chance that if we got away, we might remain anonymous. I screamed in panic and so did my compatriots. then we all booked at top speed back down the hill and dodged around the source of the light at the last second. i felt a hand grab at me but i ducked, i like to think that it was a ninja duck, but i doubt it looked at all graceful. it worked however, and i got through the roadblock. the wind picked up around my uncovered eyes and the steep muddy way that we had just finessed our way up, suddenly revealed itself to be very slippery and wet at high speeds. just before we were at the steps to our dorm, we all slipped at the same time in a large patch of mud. it was a mess of a fall. all three of us rolled several times and ended up in a pile of ninja at the bottom of the steps. i looked up and saw the flashlight bouncing its way towards us. but we could still make it back if we got untangled.
i yelled for the other two ninjas to get off me, and we somehow untangled and climbed the steps and made it smashing loudly into the room. we dove into our respective beds and ripped our masks off just in time for the main light to flip on. the brightness was intense, so was Rudy's expression. he was angry and breathing heavily from the chase. he looked around for a second and i thought that maybe we had done it. we had remained unidentified.

but then he looked right at me and walked over to my bed. he pulled back the covers and there i was, a mud covered ninja lying in a muddied up bed. It's been so long that i can't remember what he yelled at us or how much trouble we got into but i am sure it was suitable to our transgression, i do know that our ninja gear was taken from us until the trip was over. and i do know that the next day he showed us how he rigged the mirror, and told us, with a big smile, that he knew we would try something. he was a genius that way, he was that guy who would let you think you had pulled the wool over his eyes. He'd let you dig yourself in as deep as was safe, and then he would suddenly pounce.

he was the scary dean who you could laugh about it with a bit later, and feel like you had actually gotten closer to him. i always felt that he actually liked and appreciated youthful exuberance of our kind. he was also that scary dean who was always there in hard times and he was a very supportive authority figure. his presence at Bank Street, am very sure, will be missed greatly.